Conflict: What Not To Do

How do you deal with disagreement? Do you meet it calmly, head on? Silently avoid it? Hope it will just go away? Or do you blow it up?

The way you manage (or don't manage) conflict can have significant impacts on your relationship.

So, let's get real about how you handle adversity when it comes your way.

Below is a list of common types of conflict responses that can have a NEGATIVE impact to your life and relationships. Which one(s) can YOU relate to?

Do you AVOID? Denying there is a problem, changing the topic, or leaving the room instead of acknowledging there's a problem.

Do you ACCOMODATE? Give into the wishes of the other person just so you don't have to argue.

Do you COMPETE? You are right. They are wrong. The goal is to win. You insist on your position without considering their position might be valid.

Do you CRAZY MAKE? Intentionally engaging in small, irritating things to annoy the other know, just enough they know your mad, but not coming out and confronting the issue.

Do you use HUMOR AS WEAPON? Using that small jab or making a joke at the other's expense.

Do you WITHHOLD? Silent treatment anyone? This person withholds something the other person wants or needs: affection, sex, communication, money...the list goes on.

Do you PSUEDO-ACOMMODATE? An all-time favorite, agreeing "give in" and do what the other person wants, knowing all along you are going to "forget" to do it.

Do you GUNNY SACK? Avoidance at its finest, the gunny sacker denies there's something wrong, but keeps score and holds a small grudge. Year after year the grudges build up, guessed it, a small incident occurs and the built-up resentment overflows into a major blow up.... usually to the utter surprise of the other person.

Recognizing how you deal with conflict is the first step.

The next time you find yourself at odds with someone, take the time to acknowledge the real problem so that you can deal with it and move forward

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